[ cheers and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon!

[ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. thank you very much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon" everybody. happy thursday. thanks for coming out. yeah, it has been raining like crazy here in new york today. there are huge puddles on the sidewalks or as amy winehouse calls them, jacuzzis. [ laughter ] she calls them that? president obama left this morning on a ten day trip to asia. he assigned his kids some important chores. he said that while he's gone, sasha has to walk the dog, and malia has to walk biden. [ laughter ] and if they do that, then they'll get a dvd when he gets back. so, they're good. they have to do that.

when he returns, president obama is expected to finally reveal his strategy for the war in afghanistan. the strategy is called, "don't ask, don't tell." [ laughter ] speaking of "don't ask, don't tell," congressman barney frank said yesterday that the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy will be repealed next year. it's going to be replaced by the new policy, "ah, yeah, we knew." [ laughter ] big news, lou dobbs announced on his show last night that he was leaving cnn. no word on where dobbs is going to go next, but i think we can all rule out telemundo. [ laughter ] they're not welcome there. dobbs said he's leaving because he wants to engage in constructive problem solving. he's already solved one problem -- for cnn. [ laughter ] leaving. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, i tell it like it is. i tell it like it is here. yeah. [ laughter ] you don't get none of the crap from me, man. you get straight, straight adrenaline. yeah, like a fast ball. [ laughter ]

that's the sound effect? >> steve: is that a yo-yo? >> jimmy: i don't know. it was a yo-yo. now, they're not doing it at all. i'm doing a yo-yo. [ laughter ] >> eiffel tower. walking the dog. around the world. around the world. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i got you. >> jimmy: what do you mean, you got me? why are you making me do this? you want to do it one more time? >> yeah, yeah. [ bouncing noise ] >> jimmy: don't make me do that. "i got you."

hey, you guys. tomorrow, at the white house, first lady michelle obama will host the healthcare event for older women. or as she's calling it, "the cougar summit." [ laughter ] the question most likely to be asked at the healthcare event for older women, "oh, is it hot in here?" [ laughter ] it's hot in here, right? it's hot? hey, the rockefeller center christmas tree arrived today. right here outside of the building. [ cheers and applause ] right here. it's a 76-foot norway spruce. it's amazing. it will take the crew three weeks to decorate the tree. that's one day to hang the ornaments, and 20 days to untangle the lights. [ laughter ] the woman who donated the tree was thrilled. she said that rockefeller center was a magical place where it doesn't matter what kind of problems you're having. yeah, where i'm from, that's called a bar. [ laughter ] but whatever. the christmas tree is estimated to be 70 years old. which means any day now, it will leave nbc to host "60 minutes."

that's exciting. [ laughter ] you guys, google is now offering free wireless internet service at 47 airports across the united states. of course, when you try to log on, there's a two hour delay. and then they send your email to the wrong location. but it doesn't matter. and finally, exit polling shows the turnout among democratic voters in last week's elections was exceptionally low. in fact, the hottest topic in political circles is whether the democrats have lost the ability to get their supporters to show up on election day. >> questlove: wait a minute, jimmy. did you just say "hottest topic"? >> jimmy: yeah, i said "hottest topic," yeah. i was going to make a joke about it, but the chance of political shakeup in 2010. but this news doesn't need a joke. i think it needs to be slow-jammed. hit me over the head with it! ♪ oh, yeah [ cheers and applause ]

♪ hey, i'm jimmy james i want to turn you out to vote ♪ ♪ some of the people over the land are saying the democrats can no longer do ♪ ♪ the democrats really have a lot to fear 'cause they can't run obama every year ♪ ♪ you see, as one slowly spreads apart the electoral data ♪ ♪ it becomes clear that the democrats simply don't know how to keep their hands wrapped firmly around ♪ ♪ their base ♪ wrapped around their base the republicans are disciplined to know ♪ ♪ how to win it but democrats are electoral schizophrenics ♪ ♪ sometimes people have a change of heart just because the electorate likes it one year ♪ ♪ don't mean they'll put a ring on it the next don't wanna put a ring on it ♪ ♪ if you like it then you should have

put a ring on it ♪ ♪ should have put a ring on it ♪ ♪ if you like it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ ♪ oh oh oh ♪ if you like it then you should have put a ring on it ♪ ♪ it's all right no ring no ring ♪ ♪ oh, they'll be sorry in 2010 the house'll go back to being all old white men ♪ ♪ all right it's all right the candidates from last week didn't know how ♪ ♪ turn the voters on i need support for that democrat in virginia who's always flaccid ♪ ♪ and new jersey's governor was known for his poor polling ♪ ♪ that poor polling the democrats didn't rock the voters' world ♪ ♪ so instead of voting they watched "gossip girl" ♪ ♪ unlike the randy in randy republicans

people who love a big old "d" next to the name ♪ ♪ of the representative were frigid young people and minorities need candidates to send shivers down their spine♪ ♪ or they stand you up the democrats also suffer voter defection they need to stiffen up their board of elections ♪ ♪ you want the keys to the kingdom then you have to arouse your voters ♪ ♪ stimulate them stimulate them ♪ ♪ stimulate them stimulate the voters ♪ >> jimmy: don't overdo it. ♪ 'cause that can cause a problem too ♪ ♪ the republican base ran wild and unrestricted that's why they lost in new york's ♪ ♪ 23rd district oh yeah oh yeah that's right ♪ ♪ it's all right that's all right it's all right that's right ♪ ♪ all right it's alright-right-right ♪

♪ right right right now the same thing could happen in florida ♪ ♪ republicans are on the verge of a purge and their urge to kick governor crist to the curb ♪ ♪ jimmy, that was superb >> jimmy: thank you. ♪ my advice before you go plunging into your party's grassroots stimulate the electorate first ♪ ♪ electrostimulation ♪ spend some time in places you're not used to you got to give some back rubs ♪ ♪ without a fresh new face new jobs to inspire there's nothing in lighting the fire ♪ ♪ the 2008 voters will come back but you have to give them a reason to come back ♪ ♪ to the polls yeah, abandon your faith and you'll lose the race ♪ ♪ you'll meet us again in 2010 ♪

♪ there's not time to lose and that is how we slow jam the news ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the roots! we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this week on supermodelquins in the city, in party cardis for just $19, amy and heather are the life of the party. shake your party cardi. whoo! whoo! whoo! whoo! wearing the ruffled cardi, amy meets a real man. hey! he was cute. but their partying doesn't stop there. you up for more dancing and an after party cardi? you betcha! i even brought my jazz hands! these party cardis are just 19 bucks, but are they too much fun? find out this week at old navy. do you want to go to my apartment? what?! what... need a moment? i thought you were a believer. someone who wanted to blog about their ideals. i love blogging! chew it over with twix

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. thank you so much for watching. i really, really appreciate it. we've got a fantastic show tonight. the beautiful star of "private practice," kate walsh is here everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i love her, she's fun. and my favorite illusionist, magicians or whatever you want to call them, my favorite, the amazing penn and teller are joining us. [ cheers and applause ] they are my favorite bit ever. it's so good. god, they're so amazing. they are geniuses. they are going to show us a little bit of their magic right here in our studio. and we have music from the southern hip-hop legends goodie mob. [ cheers and applause ] this is amazing. they are reuniting. i love those guys, too. it is going to be great. now, before the show, i was playing around with my iphone. anybody else here have an iphone? [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's a great thing. the best part of the iphone is all the apps or the applications. they are these little programs that you can put right onto your phone. and they do all sorts of things. some are games.

some help you find the nearest restaurant. and now a lot of celebrities are getting in on the action and coming out with their own apps. and we have a sneak peek at some of the new ones that have yet to be released. what do you say guys? want to see them? [ cheers ] a few of them are just upgrades on existing apps. you probably heard of the app called, "i am t-pain." it's you sing into the phone and it autotunes your voice so you sound like t-pain. [ laughter ] now there is a new app and here's how it works. you say something into your phone and it makes you sound like a fat version of tom brokaw. it's called, "i am fat tom brokaw." and it's very interesting. let's try it. um, hello. i'm jimmy fallon. >> hello, i'm jimmy fallon. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was the greatest generation. >> it was the greatest generation. [ laughter ]

it really sounds like how tom brokaw would sound like if he were really, really fat. i'd like a chicken parmesan, some fries and a milkshake. >> i'd like a chicken parm -- hero. waffle fries and a strawberry milkshake. >> jimmy: i like that he adds words, too. [ light laughter ] well, let's check out some of the other new apps in the old pop-up screen here. over here. right. and this goes in here and you can see that. [ laughter ] [ applause ] now, it is working. i love wi-fi. it's bluetooth, and it just goes right there. depending on the wire, you won't need it. all right. this next one is cool. have you guys seen programs like yearbook yourself where you take a picture of yourself and it turns you into a yearbook-style photo. it's pretty cool. and this is a similar app, it's called richard simmons yourself. [ laughter ]

and what it does is it takes a picture of you and it transforms into what into what you would look like if you were tv fitness guru, richard simmons. let's try it. let me just take a picture of myself here. [ shutter clicking ] clearly i just took that. [ laughter ] all right. there i am, and now just you push this button and richard simmonsifies it, your photo. [ shutter clicking ] [ laughter ] it is my christmas card. yeah, absolutely. let's try it with hig bones. higgins, i'll just hold this phone up and take a picture of you from here. is that cool? >> higgins: great, i'll get manly. >> jimmy: all right. ready? [ shutter clicks ] [ laughter ] there you are. >> higgins: i look like a fat tom brokaw. >> jimmy: you don't look like a fat tom brokaw. >> higgins: hey, thanks for the picture. >> jimmy: great zoom on this camera by the way.

now, let's simmonsify it. [ shutter click ] [ laughter ] quest, you want to try it? you've already got the fro. [ laughter ] all right. never mind. let's go back to the home page here. now, you probably heard of the app called white noise, it plays different types of relaxing sounds like ocean waves or gentle rain to help you sleep. this next app is similar. it's called "white noise: axl rose edition." finally, you can be lulled to sleep to the soothing sounds of axl rose. there's a bunch of tracks on here, too. let's see what we can do. like, crickets. ♪ oh crickets jumping ♪ oh crickets aye-yi-yi >> jimmy: so soothing. let's just try regular white noise.

♪ white noise ♪ white noise ♪ yeah yeah hey -- ♪ white noise >> jimmy: very good. they even have whale sounds. ♪ whale sounds ♪ whale sounds ♪ fall asleep to the whale sounds ♪ ♪ listen to the people whales ♪ look out ferry there is a whale [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. let's go to the home screen here. this next app is weird. it's called "reiser launch." it simulates comedian paul reiser's head being launched into outer space. let me just tap the screen and try it out here. i don't know, let's see it. [ rocket blast ] >> jimmy: he is going.

he is going. is he there yet? he is in outer space. he made it, you guys! [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! well, that is great. speaking of useful apps. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: lots of people use their iphone for advice, which brings us to the next app. it's called "wwrvjd" or what would reginald veljohnson, the guy who played carl winslow on "family matters," do. now, you type in a life crisis that you are facing and this app -- [ laughter ] i swear. "what would reginald veljohnson do?" and you type in a life crisis that you are facing and this app tells you what reginald veljohnson would do in your situaion. let me just type in my crisis. "i found a $100 bill on the sidewalk and i'm not sure what to do." [ laughter ] let's see what reginald veljohnson would do. i would star in a tv show called

"family matters" tgif he says. interesting advice. well, i will write him a quick thank you. all right, let's go back to the home screen. and this last app is really exciting. it's called "root your ring tone." yeah, even the roots are in on this app business. what it does is it makes any ringtone sound cooler by having the roots add a beat to it. higgins, call me up so we can test it out. >> higgins: right. calling. >> jimmy: let's see if this works. ♪ ♪ give it up ♪ ♪ wait a minute now ♪ yeah

>> jimmy: all right. everybody, give it up for the roots. those are all the new apps. when we come back, kate walsh is here. stick around and come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hi, my name is woody. i have two girls and they get into everything. (pointing to pc) especially when it comes to this. so i had an idea. i need some control. you know control how much time they spend on the pc. next thing you know, windows 7 comes out. now it's real easy to get between them and all the wrong stuff. i thought it up, microsoft did it. feels so good, to be heard once in awhile. child: yeah, yeah. i'm a pc and windows 7 was my idea. it's your blades pal ah man, i should have known. even the best blades get worn down. when that happens, it's not as comfortable, see? when the strip turns white you should think about changing it... for a smoother ride. (announcer) gillette fusion. fresh blade. more comfortable shave.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. now, you know our first guest as dr. addison montgomery from "grey's anatomy" and now "private practice," which is in its third season. it airs thursdays at 10:00 pm on abc. please welcome kate walsh, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very, very good. >> i did that modified robot, and that was about it. that's all i had. >> jimmy: what is a modified robot differ -- >> it's just like a quick -- yeah, that is what happens if you get the swine flu shot. >> jimmy: did you get the swine flu shot? >> no, i but i heard that people do modified robots. >> jimmy: that's ridiculous.

>> it can happen. >> jimmy: once you get the shot, you immediately go into robot? ♪ thank you for the swine flu shot ♪ >> only if you're walking backwards. it's so funny. >> jimmy: what do you mean backwards? you were doing up and down. it's not backwards. >> this is it. and then you walk backwards and that is the only way you can talk. it's the only way you can say thank you. >> jimmy: that's ridiculous. >> i don't know. that's what i heard. >> jimmy: people don't know this, because they know you from "private practice" and "grey's anatomy" -- >> yes. >> jimmy: but you started at improvising. you're a comedy person. >> yeah, i did. i started at long form improv in chicago and then -- i did both straight theater and improv in chicago. but here, in new york i was in this long form group -- >> jimmy: what is long form? explain that to us. >> long form. oh, it is really fascinating. [ snoring ] i'm going to talk about how you get into the sag union, too. that's really interesting. >> jimmy: i have been to your seminars. they are really great. >> for $4,000. >> jimmy: all right. let's take our second lunch break and we will come back for reform in health insurance. but long from is what? it's like a -- >> it's kind of -- how would you describe it? it's, you take, either you get a suggestion and you sort of improvise for 40 minutes or two

acts and you kind of just go. and then -- >> jimmy: a suggestion of like a place or a m-m-motion. >> yeah, something like that. >> jimmy: a m-m-motion. >> a m-m-motion. >> jimmy: i just trademarked that. >> ♪ i'm a m-m-motion >> jimmy: tm m-m-motion. i wanna tm that because if anyone uses that word, i get paid. i second that m-m-motion. ching! coin. spend it on who knows what? >> i don't know. we can go to the moon. on m-m-motion money. >> jimmy: m-m-motion money. we'll take it to the moon. me, you, and richard branson. >> can we get somebody on the horn? can we call someone? >> jimmy: i mean, this is my huge keyboard phone. >> that's about where i am with technology. >> jimmy: the new apple keyboard phone. you are awful with technology i heard. >> i am really bad. >> jimmy: why? >> i don't know, i just -- now, now i just started talking slower. i just now formed a web page. >> jimmy: this isn't a radio show. we're on tv. >> i am a robot. >> jimmy: i got the swine flu shot. >> what's wrong with me? >> jimmy: i'm sorry.

people get giddy sometimes. >> i know. it's you. you're powerful, man. >> jimmy: it's the axe effect. [ laughter ] it happens. yeah. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah, i get in the elevator and women swoon. [ laughter ] delivery boys pass out, yes. i can't even take the elevator anymore. too many injuries. >> you're man musk. >> jimmy: it's my man musk. [ laughter ] that is the name of my perfume. >> listen, man. it could be powerful. >> jimmy: i'm going to tm that, too. man musk. [ laughter ] that and m-m-motion. >> m-m-motion. >> jimmy: so far i'm making a lot of money. this is awesome. uh, no. so, yeah, so you just -- you have a web page. what is it? >> it's katewalsh.com. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm writing -- >> i think, i think. >> jimmy: katewalsh.com. >> i'm pretty certain that's what it is. but i had to buy it off of someone like, in the south i think. >> jimmy: how do you know they're from the south, did they type with an accent? "well, i'll surely do it, y'all. you trade some moonshine for it." >> well, i believe it was

somewhere in the southern portion of the united states. >> jimmy: oh really? >> where they had -- somebody had it. and it was like, it's all kind of -- i think it was some kid. like some parents had it for their kid, kate walsh. so i was like, "i want that. it's mine. give it to me now. i will buy it from you." >> jimmy: was the kid doing anything with it? >> no, they weren't. so i was like, "you know what? you're not playing a doctor on tv, scoot over." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: exactly. thank you. yeah, yeah. >> i have business to tend to. >> jimmy: what's important is what's important. >> i just said i got business to tend to. >> jimmy: yeah. >> m-m-motion to attend. let's start a workshop on just alliteration. >> jimmy: te-tend. >> te-tend. ♪ te-tend m-m-motion♪ >> jimmy: te-tend. te-tend is what i'm thinking. >> that could be your second fragrance. man musk -- >> jimmy: man musk and then te-tend? >> and te-tend. >> jimmy: man musk is pretty good. i'm going to make some coin off of that, too. >> it's simple but it's powerful. >> jimmy: yeah. let's go back to this website, now. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what happens on your website? pictures of you? that's cool. like lounging by the pool and stuff. >> a lot of nude pictures. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nothing but naked

pictures of you. >> nothing but naked -- >> jimmy: this is awful site. at least offer something else. >> i just -- i really needed an outlet for my naked lady pictures. >> jimmy: i know, but after a week, you go, i have seen these. [ laughter ] what else have you got? [ cheers and applause ] >> that is why i called the web master. >> jimmy: yeah, but do you different jobs naked and stuff? you go to dunkin donuts and stuff? >> no, i don't even know -- >> jimmy: do you type your blog? do you type blogs? >> there is sometimes i say something, yeah, like -- i'm told you should say something. so i was like, "hey, what's up? thanks for -- i finally got on my website." [ snoring ] [ laughter ] i know -- >> jimmy: oh, that must be real exciting. i can't wait to go to the site. but you talk to your fans? >> yeah, i do. i do. >> jimmy: do you do facebook? >> no, but this is what happened with facebook. i just started twittering by the way. which i still feel like i am just learning about it. >> jimmy: what is your twitter name? >> i am freezing up. i think it is k8@_walsh.

i feel like -- that's like giving out your bra size. >> jimmy: that's simple. i mean, what? k8? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: draw it out, draw it for me. >> draw it? >> jimmy: no, no, no you have the robot everytime somebody gives you a writing utensil. k-8 underscore -- >> what are you going to do with this? >> jimmy: i'm going to show it to the camera. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. there you go. what do you like? prince? or are you like avril lavigne? [ light laughter ] sk8erboi. >> sk8erboi. >> jimmy: like skater boy. sk8erboi is how she writes it. >> really? >> jimmy: she puts an "8" in there. >> oh yeah, skate --"8." i don't know. that was what was left. >> jimmy: kate walsh. so you're on the twitter and you don't do the facebook. >> yeah, facebook, no. but there are people out there pretending, apparently, to be me. i went, okay, this is what happened. the other night, there was a dog barking, and i'm not going to lie to you, it was a little annoying. i was like, i'm going to find out whose dog that is. it sounded like nobody was home. so i go out of my house and i go around the corner and i buzzed this gate. and my neighbor comes out and

he's like, and the best part, i'm sorry, i got to do this to zach. he was out without his shirt on. he came out -- and he comes down the driveway. and i'm like, "hey, how are you? i'm your neighbor. i just -- i heard a dog barking and i was just wondering, you know, is everything okay?" because how do you back out of that? you're like, "i hope everything is okay." >> jimmy: especially when a shirtless neighbor comes out. >> yeah, yeah. he is like, "hey, how you doing?" and i'm like, "i'm good, how are you?" he is like, "how come you haven't come over?" and i'm like, "what do you mean?" he was like, "yeah, you know, you said you would come over and have some wine and hang out." i was like, "what?" he said, "yeah, your facebook. you facebooked me and said like -- yeah, my wife, she's a huge fan and we've been facebooking with you. and i am like, "no, you haven't. that's someone else." [ laughter ] and he's like, "come on." and he goes and puts a shirt on. so i end up going in, meeting his wife. they have kid. little aiden. he's two. he really seemed to like me. and we -- and was like, "i'll show you." and he showed me on his computer that somebody had been

pretending to be me on facebook. >> jimmy: so you don't facebook? so we know it's not you. >> no. is that a weird -- isn't that weird? it was like a weird a movie. suddenly i'm like, "hey --" you know? >> jimmy: it's creepy, yeah. >> it was a little -- yeah, somebody was pretending to be me. >> jimmy: you can probably sue somebody for that. >> you think so? >> jimmy: yeah. >> how much money do you think i could get? >> jimmy: more money than i'm making off m-m-motion. >> m-m-motion. >> jimmy: kate walsh everybody! "private practice," thursdays at 10:00 pm on abc. penn and teller are up next. there they are in the bud light golden wheat room. what's up dude? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ liberate! go christmas go hanukkah go kwanzaa go solstice go classic tree. go plastic tree. go plant a tree. go without a tree. you 86 the rules you do what just feels right happy dowhateveryouwannakah and to all a cheery night!

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. hey, our next guests are celebrating 35 years of performing together. wow 35 years. well, whether it's the long running las vegas show at the rio hotel or their award-winning showtime series, "penn & teller: b.s." give it up for the one and only penn and teller! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: penn and teller, thank you so much for coming on. >> well, thanks for having us on. >> jimmy: you may not remember this, but the last time i saw you guys, i was just starting

out in comedy. i went to the montreal "just for laughs" comedy festival. it's a big festival in montreal. and usually it's new faces. and usually, you go there to hopefully get an agent or something like that. and i went. i got an agent. it was very exciting. but also, i got to open for you guys at the st. denis theater. >> were we nice to you? >> jimmy: you were so nice to me. >> oh, we loved you so much! [ laughter ] i remember. i remember vividly. you were so good, and i went backstage and said to teller, "this guy will host his own show." [ laughter ] we were very nice to you, right? >> jimmy: yes, very nice. >> wow, we lucked out. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 35 years. >> because we're usually bastards. >> jimmy: you really are. no, you were so nice to me. you were unbelievably nice to me. and i just can't even believe 35 years together. that doesn't make any sense. >> yeah, it's a way long time. it's all we've ever done. you know. >> jimmy: that's crazy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're only 35 years old? >> well. [ laughter ] there was some time in high school and so on. but i've been working with teller since i was 18. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: like, out of your -- just meet at your house, your garage? >> yeah, when i was in high school, i bought a stereo from a

guy that teller went to college with. that's the only connection. and we realized -- >> jimmy: teller has never talked in high school either, right? >> well, teller was the high school latin teacher, so he had to talk a little bit during that. but speaking dead languages. >> jimmy: you're so talented. do you have a secret to your relationship? >> i think that not being friends is really important. [ laughter ] i'm not kidding at all. you know, a lot of your teams, like, you know, lennon and mccartney, martin and lewis, they certainly -- they felt in love. i mean, it was a really strong relationship, and teller and i just wanted to work together, so we socialized maybe three times a year. we'll have dinner together or something. so we worked together, and that's about it. and i think it makes it a lot easier. i think respect holds up better than love. >> jimmy: very, very cool. i like hearing that. and you're at this residency at the rio in vegas. how long has that been going on? >> we've been there full time for, like, eight years. >> jimmy: wow.

>> we're at the "penn & teller" theater, which is a wonderful coincidence. [ laughter ] it'd be so embarrassing to have someone else there. i could be at the criss angel theater. no, criss is at our theater, we're at the -- but it worked out just right. >> jimmy: that's amazing. but i mean, eight years, working in vegas, does that drive you crazy, or do you like vegas? >> yeah, well, you know, it doesn't really matter. you know, it's how close you park to your dressing room, you know? i know that johnny rotten and the sex pistols said this about berlin, but it seems so much more true about vegas -- it's a cheap holiday on other people's misery. you know, we get to go in and go to work, and meanwhile, people are losing their whole life savings, and maybe their whole marriages falling apart around us, and we're just going into work. >> jimmy: exactly, yeah. get a cup of coffee, yeah, exactly. i remember i used to do stand-up out there, and i did stand-up -- i had a week long stand-up gig at harrah's, and the first day you go there, it's exciting, you're living in the casino, it's like -- ding, ding, ding -- and you're walking through the casino. "hey, all right, this is awesome." like de niro, this is cool. and then you go eat in the commissary with the workers

there, and this is fun. and then you do your show, and then the next day you wake up, and it's like -- ding, ding, ding -- okay. and then you do your gig. and then the next day it's like -- ding, ding, ding -- and you're like, "all right, this is annoying now." and then the headliner asks you to borrow money, 'cause he lost it all gambling. this is a night -- this is horrible. and you get depressed, and yeah. >> well, you want to set it up. you know, when you're playing there long enough, just set it up so you don't even have to go through the casino. you just go right to your dressing room and just do the show and you're not really part of vegas. you're just living a suburban life and then going to work, you know, in hell. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but now, you guys have gotten so big now, with the showtime show, and you have a new app. we did fake apps. >> you were making fun of them, but we actually have an app where you can -- it's called "penn & teller." it's not hard to remember. "penn & teller chat," and apple is really cool because they let us simulate exactly the chat function. which they don't let you monkey with that, usually. and they let us do it so you can have someone pick a card and then you text us whenever you

want, and we answer back. >> jimmy: yeah, someone did it to me earlier. it's really funny. you go like, "i can text penn and teller. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you go, "really?" "yeah, just pick a card." and i go, "three of diamonds." they texted you. i don't know what happened. and then they came back. they go, "look." and the text is actually -- >> yeah, well, me holding up pictures and stuff. but it's an app that does this, and it's a magic trick. lance burton, who's another magician in vegas, who is always driving me crazy because he -- once we put the app out, all he's been doing is texting my real thing going, "what card am i thinking of, penn? what card am i thinking of?" >> jimmy: he's got your real number, yeah. >> yeah, he wants to do it for fun. >> jimmy: well, i hate to ask you this, but would you guys mind to do a trick? >> that's what we do. yeah, we'd love to do it. >> jimmy: that would be awesome. all right, so check out penn and teller live at the rio hotel in las vegas. download their app on itunes. when we come back, penn and teller will perform for us! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ here's one for your skin that's clinically proven. olay professional pro-x wrinkle protocol

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frrrrrrosted mini-wheeeeats! didn't know i had it in me. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to "late night," everybody. and now for some awesome times. ladies and gentlemen, penn and teller! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> looks simple, doesn't it?

when you're dealing with a master of sleight of hand, like my partner, teller, even the simplest activity may be a complex deception. let's watch that routine again. is he really crushing out a cigarette. is he really adjusting his hat? is he really pulling out a fresh cigarette? is he really bothered by that itch in his left eye? is he really just lighting a cigarette? to understand the complexity of teller's life, you need to know the seven basic principles of magic. one -- palm, to hold an object in an apparently empty hand. two -- ditch, to secretly dispose of an unneeded object. three -- steal, the opposite of ditch, to secretly obtain a needed object.

four -- load, to secretly move the needed object to where it's needed. five -- simulation, to give the impression that something that hasn't happened has. six -- misdirection, to lead attention away from a secret move. and seven -- switch, to secretly exchange one object for another. teller needs nothing but a pencil, one lit cigarette and a flashlight. let's watch that original routine again. but this time, from the other side. [ laughter ] he palms the cigarette, he simulates crushing it up, he steals the palmed lit cigarette and ditches the lit cigarette in his ear. he exhales smoke to misdirect the smoke coming out from around

his hat. he steals the pencil. he simulates taking the pencil to simulating a cigarette from the non-existent cigarette pack with a simulated cigarette in his mouth. he rubs his eye to misdirect, and he loads the burning cigarette from his ear. he simulates a lighter with a flashlight, pushes the lit cigarette from the unlit pencil undercover of misdirection from the flashlight. palm, simulation, steal, ditch, misdirection, steal, simulation, misdirection, load, simulation, switch, misdirection. looks simple, doesn't it? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you so much. thank you so much. penn and teller, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] thank you guys so much. stick around, goodie mob performs next! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ my doctor told me i had to start doing things for my heart,

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guests are a hugely influential hip-hop group from atlanta who are reunited tonight to perform the title track from their 1995 debut album, "soul

food." ♪ soul food with a little help from the roots. please welcome goodie mob! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how y'all feeling tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. we're gonna have a good time. if you want to get involved, please, help yourself. come on. from the south side of atlanta georgia. we're your home bread. we're your home bread. it's time to eat. ♪ come and get your soul food wait a minute ♪ ♪ good old fashioned soul food all right everything is for free as good as it can be ♪

♪ come and get some soul food ♪ ♪ my old boy from the point but i'm from southwest and every now and then i get put to the test ♪ ♪ but i can't be stopped 'cause i gotta come true ain't got no gun but i got my crew ♪ ♪ didn't come from no beef 'cause i don't eat steak i got a plate of soul food chicken, rice and gravy ♪ ♪ not covered in too much drinking a cup of punch tropical every last thursday of the month ♪ ♪ daddy put the hot grits on my chest in the morning when i was sick mary had the ♪ ♪ hot soup boiling didn't know why but it felt so good like some waffles ♪ ♪ in that morning headed back to the woods now i'm full as tick got some soul on blast ♪ ♪ in the cassette food for my brain i haven't stopped learning yet ♪ ♪ hot wings from mo-joes got my forehead sweating celery and blue cheese on my menu next ♪ ♪ southern fry won't allow my body to lie still tied face goons surround me like cancer drill ♪ ♪ me with second-hand obstacles but only to make matters worse ♪ ♪ plus i'm getting pimped by this temp lady jackie

from optima staffing figure laughing ♪ ♪ shut up clown don't talk to me like that looking stupid of course living day by day ♪ ♪ and you ain't hard trick hell you say hah hah ♪ ♪ it's such a blessing when my eyes get to see the sun rise i'm ready to begin ♪ ♪ another chance to get further away from where i've been but i'll never forget ♪ ♪ everything i went through i appreciate the -- because if i had a went and took the easy way ♪ ♪ i wouldn't be the strong brother that i am today everything that i did ♪ ♪ different things i was told just ended up being food for my soul ♪ ♪ come and get your soul food well well ♪ ♪ good old fashioned soul food all right everything is for free as good as it can be ♪ ♪ come and get some soul food ♪ ♪ sunday morning where you eating at i'm on 1365 wichita drive ole' burd working ♪ ♪ the stove ride churches dropping chicken in yesterday's grease didn't go together ♪ ♪ with this quart of mickey's last night hanging over from a good time ♪ ♪ yeah beef is cheaper but it's pumped with red dye between two pieces of bread ♪ ♪ shawty look good with them hairy legs wish i could cut her up but my stomach ♪ ♪ come before sex a house full of -- now what's the ingredient spaghetti plus ♪ ♪ they know they making

it hard on the yard chris darden, marsha clark taking us when we're ♪ ♪ in the spotlight for a joke changing by the day i see it's getting bigger ♪ ♪ in my square looking at lenox from the outside with a stare ♪ ♪ no money to go inside tameka and tiffany outside tripping and skipping rope ♪ ♪ to the beats from my jeep as i speak what's up from the driver seat ♪ ♪ a heaping helping of fried chicken macaroni and cheese and collard greens ♪ ♪ too big for my jeans smoke steams from under the lid that's on the pot ♪ ♪ ain't never had a lot but thankful for the little that i got why not be ♪ ♪ fast food got me feeling sick them think they sick by trying to make ♪ ♪ this bull affordable i thank the lord that my voice was recordable ♪ ♪ come and get your soul food well well ♪ ♪ hold up "c" it's what i write and miss lady acting like we in jail ♪ ♪ says she ain't got no extra hush puppies to sell bankhead seafood making me hit that door ♪ ♪ with a mind full of attitude it was a line at the beautiful ♪ ♪ jj's ribshack was packed too looking to be one of them days ♪ ♪ when momma ain't cooking everybody's out hunting with the family looking for a ♪ ♪ little soul food ♪ come and get your soul food well we